The #1 Mistake New Managers Make in Their First 30 Days (and How to Avoid It)

Stepping into a management role is both exciting and daunting. Over the past 33 years, I’ve had the privilege of managing teams across government, corporate sectors, and as a business owner. Along the way, I’ve learned many valuable lessons—sometimes the hard way. One key realization from this journey is that there’s one mistake new managers often make in their first 30 days that can derail their leadership journey from the very start.

In this blog, I’ll dive into the #1 mistake I’ve observed repeatedly, reflect on my own experiences, and share how you can avoid it using the R.E.S.E.T. Your Thinking framework.

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Why Do New Managers Struggle?

The Mistake: Focusing Too Much on Authority and Not Enough on Relationships

When I first moved into leadership roles, I’ll be honest—I thought being the “boss” meant asserting control and making decisions that others had to follow. I was focused on authority, thinking that it was the key to respect and success. But, here’s the thing: I quickly realised that leadership isn’t about power. It’s about trust, collaboration, and building strong relationships with your team.

Many new managers make this same mistake, especially in their first 30 days. They dive into their new role by asserting their authority and trying to set the tone by enforcing rules and procedures. Unfortunately, this often leads to disengagement because without connection, there’s no trust, and without trust, there’s no collaboration. Teams fail to perform at their best, and morale takes a hit.

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What’s the Real Impact of This Mistake?

The Consequences of Over-Focusing on Authority

Looking back on my early days in leadership, I can see how my focus on authority shaped the team dynamic—and not in a good way. I thought being the decision-maker was enough, but it created a gap between me and my team. Over time, I learned that true leadership isn’t about power; it’s about relationships and respect. Here’s what happens when this lesson is missed:

Lack of Trust: Early on, I didn’t fully understand how trust underpins effective leadership. Without trust, employees hold back—they’re hesitant to share ideas, voice concerns, or even collaborate freely. This lack of openness stifles team performance. It took me time (and some tough lessons) to realise that trust isn’t automatic; it has to be earned through genuine connection and consistency.

Reduced Innovation and Engagement: I’ve seen this firsthand, especially in environments like government agencies and small businesses I’ve mentored. Teams led by managers who focus on power instead of people create a culture of compliance rather than creativity. Employees stop thinking outside the box and start doing the bare minimum. You don’t want that!

Increased Turnover: One of the most significant consequences I’ve witnessed is employee turnover. When team members feel disconnected from their manager, they start looking for opportunities elsewhere. It’s not always about the job itself but how valued and supported they feel. And the ripple effect? It doesn’t stop at your immediate team. When trust breaks down in leadership, disengagement spreads throughout middle and upper management. The result? Higher recruitment and training costs, loss of expertise, and a struggling team culture.

It’s important to realise that turnover is rarely just a “one person’s issue.” It’s a symptom of leadership challenges and opportunities to build a culture of connection and trust at every level of the organization.

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These aren’t just abstract consequences—they’re real, tangible outcomes I’ve experienced firsthand. Reflecting on my own early mistakes, I can see how relying too heavily on authority kept me from creating the collaborative, innovative environments where teams thrive. By prioritizing connection over control, I’ve learned how to lead with trust—and the difference is night and day.

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What’s the Solution?

The R.E.S.E.T. Approach: Resetting Your Thinking to Build Stronger Relationships

After years of reflection, learning from both my successes and mistakes, I’ve come to realize that great leadership starts with relationships. It’s not about asserting control, it’s about establishing trust and making your team feel valued. As a business mentor working with CEOs, executives, and small business owners, I’ve seen first-hand how a relationship-first approach is key to effective leadership.

That’s where my R.E.S.E.T. Your Thinking framework comes into play. It’s the approach I’ve developed to help leaders like you reset your thinking and build genuine, long-lasting relationships with your teams. Here’s how it works:

R — Reflect:

Looking back at my own early days as a manager, I wasn’t always great at reflecting. In fact, I was often too caught up in the rush of making decisions and showing I was in control. But reflection is the first step to better leadership. Take the time to self-assess: How am I showing up as a leader? In those first 30 days, pause and reflect on your style, your approach, and how you’re engaging with your team. Journaling, in my experience, has been an incredible tool to bring clarity to how I lead.

E — Empathize:

Empathy is a skill I’ve had to consciously develop throughout my career. Early on, I wasn’t as attuned to my team’s personal needs and challenges as I should have been. However, when I made an effort to understand the individual needs of my team members, it created an environment of trust and openness. CEOs and business owners I work with now echo this sentiment—taking the time to genuinely understand your team’s motivations builds stronger bonds.

S — Simplify:

Sometimes, I overcomplicated things, assuming that leadership was about managing every little detail. I now see that simplicity in communication fosters clarity and minimizes confusion. One of the best pieces of advice I’ve received—and one I often share with new managers—is to be clear and transparent in what you expect. When people know what’s expected of them and why, they are far more likely to stay engaged.

E — Engage:

I learned early that engaging with your team doesn’t just mean overseeing work—it’s about building genuine relationships. Take the time to ask questions, check in on both work-related and personal matters, and show your team that you care about them as people, not just employees. In my role as a mentor for CEOs and small business owners, this is one of the most powerful tools I emphasize. Engage authentically, and your team will naturally respect and trust you.

T — Transform:

The ultimate goal of leadership is transformation—not only in terms of achieving business goals but also in how your team grows and develops. As a new manager, it’s easy to focus on the tasks at hand, but the most effective leaders focus on empowering their team to reach their full potential. This is something I now emphasize regularly when I work with executives and small business owners—great leadership isn’t about the work you do; it’s about the transformation you inspire in others.

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Why Does This Work?

The Implied Benefit of Relationship-Focused Leadership

As a mentor and leader, I’ve seen firsthand the profound impact of focusing on relationships. According to a Gallup study, employees who trust their leaders are more engaged, more productive, and less likely to leave (source: Gallup). The human element of leadership is often underestimated, but it’s the most critical part of any successful leadership strategy.

When you prioritise relationships over authority, you build a strong foundation of trust that leads to better collaboration, increased innovation, and higher team morale. And ultimately, these things drive better results—something I’ve seen in both large organizations and small businesses.

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How to Begin Making the Shift: Practical Steps for New Managers

Here are 3 actionable steps based on my own journey and the experiences I’ve gathered from mentoring others:

1. Ask Thoughtful Questions: Early in my career, I didn’t ask enough questions. Now, I know that asking your team about their challenges, goals, and ideas is key to understanding how to lead them effectively.
2. Show Genuine Support: As a manager, providing support is crucial. This could mean offering resources, guidance, or just being a listening ear. I learned that being available to help and guide, rather than just giving orders fosters trust and loyalty.
3. Seek Feedback Early: One of the most impactful actions I’ve taken as a leader is seeking regular feedback from my team. This shows you value their input and are committed to growing alongside them. In the long run, it helps you evolve as a leader.

Here’s the thing: leadership is about people. It’s about understanding their strengths, fostering trust, and creating an environment where they feel comfortable sharing their thoughts and ideas.

The more you focus on building relationships, the more you’ll see your team engage, innovate, and thrive.

If you’re in a leadership position, whether it’s in Australia, Melbourne, Sydney or anywhere else for that matter, remember that 70% of employee engagement depends on their manager! So, ask yourself: Are you focusing on building trust and communication with your team Or are you just trying to assert your authority?

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Conclusion: Avoiding the Leadership Pitfall

Throughout my 33 years of experience in leadership across government, corporate, and small businesses, I’ve learned that the best managers are those who build relationships, not those who assert control. Reflecting on my journey has taught me that leadership isn’t about being in charge; it’s about being present and engaged with your team.

When you make your team feel heard, supported, and valued, you don’t just improve morale—you improve performance and innovation. So, if you’re just starting out as a manager, take a moment to check your approach. The authority-based mindset can lead to a disconnect that harms both your team, your organisation and your leadership potential.

By embracing the R.E.S.E.T. approach, new managers can shift their focus from authority to connection, and set themselves up for lasting success. Leadership is a transformative journey, and the first step is always about building trust and creating a culture of collaboration.

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Ready to Reset Your Thinking?

If you’re a new manager or an experienced leader looking to transform your approach, visit the R.E.S.E.T. Institute Online Hub, where you’ll find a wealth of resources, tools, and actionable strategies designed to help business owners, managers, and leaders build stronger relationships, improve leadership skills, and unlock their full potential.

Explore the Hub today and start your journey to transformative leadership.

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About Alex:
Hi, I’m Alex. With over 33 years of experience spanning leadership roles in government, private enterprise, and corporate management, my true passion lies in helping people transform their thinking and foster meaningful, supportive relationships. That’s why I created the R.E.S.E.T. Your Thinking® framework—designed to inspire personal growth. continuous learning and leadership excellence.

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By sharing this personal insight, I hope to offer new and existing managers a valuable lesson that could save them a lot of time and frustration, helping them become the best leaders they can be.